This is Part 2 of a series of posts sharing lessons I have learned over the past 15 years of exploring simple/house/organic church with my family and friends.
Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it
It Takes Courage
In the first post, I shared part of the story of how we got started. Prior to 2010, the Lord had begun opening my eyes to how the Church could be different.
A church planting class at Southern Theological Seminary introduced me to church planting movements around the world. This was eye-opening for me. I had always had a desire to see new churches started, but if I’m honest, I didn’t really enjoy “going to church.” What I did enjoy was ministry through Fellowship of Christian Athletes—helping coaches and athletes start campus ministries.
Reading Church Planting Movements by David Garrison further expanded my perspective. I began to realize that many of my brothers and sisters around the world were experiencing church in a way that looked much more like what I saw in FCA than what I had been taught church was supposed to be. That realization led me to begin researching house church and having many conversations with friends about it.
Around that time, a friend approached me about starting a house church with his family. What followed was an internal conversation that you may have had—or may be having right now:
House church makes the most sense to me. I see it in Scripture. I can see how it would benefit my family and others not presently connected to the Body of Christ.
I don’t particularly love ‘going to church.’ There seems to be so much emphasis on buildings, staff, and programs. I long to be part of something more relational. In addition, it feels like I’m not really leading my family spiritually—I’m outsourcing that to others.
But the thought of being part of a new house church is…well, really exciting to me!
But Jesus calls us to unity. Can I really tell my friends and church staff (not to mention my parents) that I’m leaving? Who am I to do this? Would I be breaking unity?
And besides, even if I don’t love going, I usually get something out of it each week—a sermon point, a song. My kids enjoy it. My spouse enjoys some of the programs, and we’ve been able to connect, at least a little, with a few people there. If we left, would we still see them?
I don’t agree with everything—like how the money is being spent—but I also don’t think the leadership is doing anything wrong…
And so the conversation goes—and often, the result is that you settle in.
You decide to save the life that you have.
That’s what I did. It just felt like too much disruption to say yes to my friend’s invitation.
A few years later, I was approached by church leadership about being involved in a church plant, and as I shared in the previous post, that set things in motion.
But the truth is, it didn’t take nearly as much courage for me to step into this as it does for most people I now work with. While many of the things I was reading suggested that organic church movements couldn’t be started as we were hoping to (which gave me pause), I still had something many others don’t: the full support of the legacy church I was part of.
Most people I’ve worked with since then don’t have that. In many cases, they experience pushback or even discouragement.
It takes real courage to take that first step.
That’s one of the main reasons I believe the Lord continues to allow me to serve in this role—to encourage others. I’m so grateful for the people who believed in me when I began sharing what God was putting on my heart about the Church.
I pray I can do the same for you!
You can do this.
You are not alone.
And there is room to experiment in the Kingdom of God.
A Few Practical Steps If You’re in This Place
1. It doesn’t have to be “either/or” right away
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned—and one I’ll likely expand on later—is that simple church is more about a way of life than a specific meeting. You can begin practicing this way of life in your home while still engaging with a legacy church.
If your legacy church discourages you from opening your home to neighbors, making disciples, and breaking bread with those in your community who need love, then leaving may be something to consider. But most of the time, that won’t be the case. And if a transition becomes necessary, you can cross that bridge when you get there.
2. Visit other house churches
This can be incredibly helpful—though sometimes surprising. You may encounter expressions that feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable. That’s okay. It’s still a valuable way to experience the Body of Christ in different forms. And you don’t need to leave your current church to do this.
Just remember, house church gatherings can take on a wide variety of forms. The one you visit may not look like what develops if the Lord uses you to help start something new.
3. Engage your church leadership
My experience over the past 15 years suggests this conversation is often unfruitful—but I believe that could be changing. Maybe your story will be one where a legacy church embraces this vision. Let those in your legacy church leadership know about the desire God has placed on your heart, and see if they might be interested in partnering with your family to explore pioneering a new work.
4. Seek a mentor
Lastly, I’ll say that it would be an honor to walk with you through this process. Finding an encouraging person with simple church experience is invaluable as you begin to explore the Lord’s leading in your life regarding simple/house church. We would be honored to fill that role—or help find someone who can!
May God grant you the courage to follow His lead!
Read the third post in this series Unity In Marriage.
Good message I find myself struggling at the church I’m currently at I keep telling my wife that the lord has me there for a reason, but my wife always counters what I’m saying, ” are sure about That?” I just don’t want to be disobedient to gods will. I try to be patient and hear the holy spirit and guiding me. so, what does the mentoring look like? but overall good message. thank you
Doug,
I appreciate the comments. My next post will address this very issue—getting on the same page with your spouse—so that’s coming soon. This is incredibly important, as our spouses can often serve as a valuable counterbalance to our impulses. At the same time, we can also balance their desire for comfort. Often (not always), a move toward doing something different in church life is initiated by us as men, but it must be done in unity with our spouse. In fact, wives often become critically important to the health of simple church families—much like in biological families. If changing things up causes a marital divide, that’s usually a good sign that the timing isn’t right.
I think mentorship can take many forms. It can be both formal and informal. Formal mentorship might involve intentionally scheduling time with another man for the purpose of seeking counsel, studying the Word together, and perhaps even engaging in ministry. These types of relationships can be meaningful, though they often last for a season.
Informal mentorship, on the other hand, often happens alongside (or instead of) formal relationships through natural connections we already have. That might look like what’s happening now. It could also look like gravitating toward a brother—or another married couple—you admire for their faithfulness, and occasionally meeting for lunch or coffee to learn from their experience and wisdom in following Christ.
A good question to consider: what did the kind of mentorship that Jesus offered look like? What did it look like to be mentored by Him?